IT’S JUNE. The love of my life and I have been married thirty-six years. Time flies when you’re having fun! Sometimes time is slow as molasses in January.
Over the years, there have been many occasions that we have lived apart. Not that we wanted to, but that life happened: jobs changed, parents got ill, and sometimes even vacations weren’t possible together.
Summer vacations would find the girls and me visiting my family in Antioch, CA, for about a month, sometimes two. We would spend time with my brothers and their families, who all lived in the area. Cousin time was always a blast! We would go camping and usually attend family reunions. The reunions took us to various states: California, Oregon, Arizona, North Carolina, and even Alaska. Sometimes, Kevin would join us for family reunions; but he couldn’t take time off in the early years of our marriage.
There was a three-year period when Kevin worked in Texas, and the girls and I lived in Riverside, CA. Every other weekend, he would come home and then return to Dallas on Sunday nights. This was a tough time for us, but we had the girls in a private school where I taught music, so we thought it best not to move.
Three other times in our marriage, Kevin was recruited to work in another state: first Oregon, then Washington, and lastly, Indiana. He would find an apartment, start his job, and await our reunion.
Each new job brought a different challenge regarding when we would move and who would move with us, once the girls were older.
There we other times, while my mom had cancer, and when we knew she was dying, or when dad battled cancer, we were apart.
I’ve figured out that between all the work and vacation-related absences, we were apart for about 5 years. Someone is bound to say, “That’s why you’re still together!” Haha! But we’re together because we love each other. We hardly ever argue, though, that was not the case when our marriage was young. He was raised in a relatively quiet home with one sibling; I was raised with four rowdy brothers. He was used to dining out, whereas my family never did while I was growing up. He is an introvert, I am an extrovert. We had our work to do. We did it. Home, family, church, and school were foundational. God was always in the picture.
Nowadays, we are together nearly all the time. We love it! I accompany him when he has to travel for work (when I’m able and it’s affordable.) Since March 9, 2020, we’ve been sheltered-in-place together nonstop. Are we tired of each other? No way! Kevin and I both have offices in our home (which is actually my childhood home from 1969.) He works in his (back of the house) and I in mine (ironically, my former bedroom), or on the couch (where I am right now writing this.)
So why talk about all the time we spent apart? It wasn’t easy, but we made it work. Marriage isn’t always bonbons (yet chocolate does sound wonderful to this diabetic author, but I digress), poetry (wait, I write that!), and roses (of which we have seen an abundance from our backyard. The house has never smelt better, except when Kevin’s cooking bacon.) Love is an action. We fell in love and have worked on it since. I’m more in love with Kevin now than ever. Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! You’re the One for Me.
I wrote this song for Kevin in 2012, which is the reason for this post. The lyrics are below. The One For Me
The One for Me
Kaci Rigney
Boarded on the morning train.
Left you standing in the rain
All I could do was sit and think of you.
Then when I got on the bus,
All my thoughts returned to us.
I need you so, I don’t know what to do.
‘Cause when I’m without you, I feel battered.
When I’m without you, I feel numb.
When I’m without you, my heart’s shattered
And my life is just ho-hum.
When I’m without you, I feel broken.
When I’m without you, I feel weak.
When I’m without you, love’s unspoken.
And your face is all I seek.
Drove you down to catch your plane.
Wondering when we’ll meet again.
All I could do was stand and watch you go.|
I found myself so all alone,
Just staring at the telephone.
I want you here and, oh, I need you so.
‘Cause when I’m without you, I feel battered.
When I’m without you, I feel numb.
When I’m without you, my heart’s shattered.
And my life is just ho-hum.
When I’m without you, I feel broken.
When I’m without you, I feel weak.
When I’m without you, love’s unspoken.
And your face is all I seek.
But when I am with you, life is beautiful.
When I am with you, our eyes gleam.
When I am with you, life is wonderful
Even if only in my dreams.
When I am with you, I’m on a higher cloud.
When I am with you, you’re all I see.
When I am with you, I want to shout out loud,
You’re the only one for me!
You’re the one for me.
Kaci Rigney 